Etiquette for cancer

Many of you might ask, is there any etiquette for cancer....Yes, there is!

There are no rules, only suggestions and tips. In the end, I advise you to do the obvious. Ask the person you’re talking to what would make them feel most comfortable. And then do it.

 

I know this topic is taboo for some people.  Let me explain.....

Cancer is real. It affects many people in the world and I know this subject matter makes some people

very uncomfortable.

Everyone deals with a cancer diagnosis differently. 

We are all so different, so it's difficult to know how each person

will react to this news.

There are certain things, one should NEVER say.

Don't ask how long you have, or automatically say, you will be fine.

Never say, that sucks!  We don't need the reminder.

There is no need to beat yourself up, if you have said the above words. I won't hold it against you, I promise.

Cancer is the elephant in the room!

 We as cancer fighters, need your support, your understanding and friendship.

Don't offer treatment advice.  That's what doctors are for.

Please don't tell tragic stories.  We don't want to hear about another person dying from too much chemo, radiation or.

I know people tend to tell stories about a person they know and what they went through.  We don't need to hear that.

Death sentence example: My aunt/mother/sister died from cancer.

Do offer to help, if you truly mean it.

Meaning, don't say the words, thinking it will make you  feel better or make me feel better.

Say it, if you will  be interrupting your own schedule and putting yourself aside to lend us a hand.

The best kind of help is specific help. 

People usually say, if you need help or anything, please call.

Well, we are not going to call. Don't expect us to call and ask for help.  We are tired.

Don't ignore us if we now have cancer.  It's not contagious!

Ignoring us will make us feel less loved and not normal.

Do not say, I don't know how you cope with this.

We don't know either.  Fighting for our life is natural and we do put on our game face and boots to kick cancer's ass.

Reaching out is wonderful.  I know we all have busy lives.

Sometimes, we feel forgotten and lonely.  Getting a text message, phone call or  email is something we look forward to.

Cards are so welcome.  There is nothing more special than receiving

the real thing in the mail.

It means that person took the time out of their day to think of you and send you a card.

A pat on the back or hug is most rewarding.

Listening is highly beneficial. 

Encouragement is tops!  We all need encouragement and we cancer fighters are no different.

We feel sad, mad, anxious, or upset, so some encouragement goes

a long way.  We don't always share how we are feeling.  We usually feel this way, when we are all alone.

Most people tell us, we are so postive and strong, we sometimes fall down and have to vent.  We are human and need to let out the emotions.

We aren't super women., although we definitely try to be.

 Any questions about treatment is welcome.  Some people have no idea on what's involved. 

I can tell you how my original cancer felt.  The chemo, the hair loss, the whole nine yards.

Now, it looks like I will be having radiation.

I do have concerns on how it will affect my body.

I was told I would have 5 weeks of radiation, every day, except week-ends.

I am trying to research this.

Admiration and inspiration do count.

Reminding us that we are strong, brave and courageous is good.

Sometimes, we do feel like our sufferings mean nothing, however is good to know,we are making a difference.

Someday, we hope for a cure.

 What's the best thing you can hear from a friend, when you've got cancer?

"I'm coming over.  What can I bring?"

 I hope I didn't offend you.  I just thought I would share some etiquette for how to deal with that dreaded word, cancer.

 Have a wonderful Memorial day.

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About Linda @ Life and Linda

Hello, welcome to LifeandLinda. I am from Northern California. I enjoy blogging, Designing Blogs, Decorating, cooking, entertaining, gardening and clogging. I hope you enjoy your visit.